A change in perspective...

Last week, my house was broken into. It sucks, knowing that some stranger was in your house, took your items, and then left the house in a chaotic mess. At first, I was pissed off. Knowing that they took a couple things (2 pocket knives, a Kindle, a MacBook laptop, and a pistol) from us, really made me mad with what happened.

However, my girlfriend said she didn't care about what was taken, just that it had scared her son, making him feel uncomfortable in his own home. That's what she wished she could get back, his sense of security. She then went on to state that all of the material objects she owns, she could do without, she doesn't care if any of it is taken, even if the house burns down, just as long as her kid is okay.

This made me really think. I was mad about the stuff being taken, but I didn't think it was because of the material objects; it was more of because the damage it was doing to the individuals that the items belonged to.

Once I realized it was more of what effect that this was happening to my girlfriend and her son by way of their things being taken, I focused more on their lose of security in the home, just as my girlfriend was saying of how her son didn't feel safe in his own home.

What irks me is that, thanks to the neighborhood kid, we found out that the people who broke in… were 4 teenagers, one actually has class with our son. I mean, seriously? How could this get any worse for him? So now he's worried that the kids know it was his house they broke into and that they are going to beat him up or something, they did steal a gun, which makes this so much worse, so he doesn't want to be the first one home after the house being empty all day. I don't blame him, I don't like it either, but you get used to it. Well, my girlfriend and I sorted out a way for one of us to be there before or at the same time he gets off of school so that he doesn't have to worry about it. There's only two more weeks of school, so this arrangement will work until hopefully that fear fades away over summer vacation.

This definitely made me re-think how many material objects that I possess. I love that I basally have nothing at my house with my girlfriend, I just wish a couple of personal mementos were there that I have, but that will happen in it's time. It's just an awesome feeling knowing that it's just you in the house, with furniture and people that you love, that not things that you love. Now, we have an awesome big screen television in the living room, that is nice for when we watch Netflix, but if that's stolen, we'd just replace it or use a different one, no big deal. That's my favorite part, not caring about the material items that I do own. haha! That doesn't mean that I treat the things I do have, poorly, I appreciate them and use them for their purpose, and make sure they will survive to see another day, but why worry if it's going to be taken or break. :)

A Reflection on "Look Up"

I implore all of you to watch this video, it truly makes me think about my generation and those to come afterwards.

I used to text all the time, when I was a teenager, I'd sit in my empty room and text friends, who were in their empty rooms. It's so ridiculous now, thinking back, when I should have just called to go hang out with them.

Well, since I'm done with college, and don't use texting to get ahold of people to meet up with, I'm free to just leave it after work upstairs. I may not see text messages until I go to bed, and unless they're important, I don't respond to them until morning.

Instead of texting, I'll go see people, unless they live too far away, but then I'll call and talk for 5-10 minutes and catch up, it takes 30 minutes to an hour just to get the same information across haha!

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to have a cell phone for those moments when you're gonna tell someone you're on your way, you're running late, or when to meet up, but anything after that, I'll call.

It's so hard for me to sit down and text, especially to multitask! I hate doing that. I didn't realize what it really was doing to my concentration until I stopped doing it. Joshua Millburn writes in his article, Not Busy, Focused, "Take a look around: everyone is multitasking. We’re doing more than we’ve ever done, attempting to fill every interstitial zone with more work. Every downtown scene is the same: heads tilted downward, faces lost in glowing screens, technology turning people into zombies." The video above by Gary Turk truly does emphasize this concept to the max. Millburn's other article, Sleep, Sex, and Reruns, goes into the topic that no matter how much multitasking that we do, it's never all going to be finished, so we need to prioritize and focus. This has brought him to the decision to eliminate all technology from the bedroom so it's used for the main purpose of having a bedroom, as the title of the article suggests.

Although I have a television in my bedroom, my girlfriend and I only use it when we want to watch a movie and actually have peace and quiet time, because, well, with a kid and a roommate, it can be difficult to pay attention to the movie in front of you, even if they don't directly interrupt you. Because the bedroom is a peaceful place, that's where I save reading for because I can't read downstairs at all, since someone usually has the television on or wants to have a conversation, haha. 

Like I said, watch this video and think about your priorities, how different would your life be without a smart phone?

The joy that is Amazon.

Last week my cousin that currently lives in North Dakota sent my dad a picture of a bag of candy from when we were kids that she just happened to find when she was in the local grocery store. Well, we haven't been able to find that candy since we were kids, and of course, my dad really wanted some now that he had been teased.

So, being the amazing daughter that I am, I checked Amazon to see if they would have any (I had already tried looking in a couple of the local stores here, just in case I had missed them, not that I've been looking specifically for them anyways). I found them online; now, ordering candy can be a bad idea because you can't taste them, don't know if the the brand is good, etc. Well, I knew the risk and went for it, I really wanted him to have some because he really loved those candies, all of us in the family really did, but he has the biggest sweet tooth out of all of us combined haha!

The candy arrived today, here's what they are:

They are called Anise Bears, which I just bought a second bag, hence why you can't order anymore from this seller; however, I definitely did sign up for emails when they become available again. Getting back to the point, these are a piece of my childhood, and to have some again, oh! It was awesome. Before I had given them to my dad, as an early Father's Day present, I taste tested one to make sure it was the right stuff, because everything is made differently by different companies, ya know? 

I gave them to him, he was completely surprised! He looked like a little kid on Christmas morning! It was the best thing ever. I've given him gifts for Father's Day before, the typical stuff: a tool he needed, a new wallet, something needed or wanted, but this was completely different, and it hit home. He was so appreciative, and he really loved that I put the thought into this gift, and it was a complete surprise for him. Needless to say, I had to order that second bag so that I didn't have to hear him complain about the first being all gone! WHICH will be soon, I promise.

Amazon is really making life so much easier! I just ordered some new suspenders for him that went out of stock in our local store about 2 years ago, and it was the right ones, size and everything. Don't get me wrong, I love going to the local store and getting my stuff, I love supporting local businesses, but when they don't carry something that you want or are accustomed to getting, like my dad's suspenders, then Amazon is the next best thing. 

My girlfriend, mom, and I love reading. My girlfriend and I read every night before bed, it is a relaxing thing (unless you are at the end of the book) and it makes it easier for me to fall asleep, plus I love the different adventures and the imaginary things that people come up with. It's a wonderful thing. 

Anyways, my girlfriend has been wanting this book, The Women of Duck Commander, but she doesn't want to buy a new book, pay full price, for something she will read once and then probably donate. Plus we aren't trying to spend money, and I know that she tries to buy used on Amazon; she doesn't have prime, but I do. So I decided to surprise her, I bought the book for her, from the link above and bought used, paid $3.99 for the book, and since I bought used, I also paid $3.99 for the shipping, not bad for a used book. When I got the book, the only thing that showed it was used, was a used sticker on the side of it. The pages and cover looked brand NEW! I surprised her with it just after Mother's Day, since it was supposed to be there before, but it was a good surprise anyways. She's already half way through the book, and loving it. It was an awesome surprise and she's glad I paid little of nothing for it, the way books should be honestly. 

But beware, buying stuff online isn't as easy as it looks. I've had to send back and reorder stuff that my parents have bought several times until they got the hang of it. Here's some advice: Being aware of what you're buying online.

Being aware of what you're buying online

Buying stuff online is a pretty nice thing for when you can't find a certain item in store, or maybe it isn't carried in store, but can be ordered online. Costco is famous for that, but the important thing is to really look past the title of the item and look at the comments!

Here's an example: 

My girlfriend and I are looking into buying a freezer, we still haven't bought one, but we went to Home Depot and Lowe's and looked at their freezers. Home Depot had hardly any selection, and Lowe's had one that we liked. We're going for an energy savor one that's probably a 15.8 or 16.7 cubic feet big. 

The one at Lowe's was an awesome price, it was on sale, what we were looking for, we'd actually heard of the brand, and the shelves looked pretty decently spaced. 

Well, that night, we got home and were discussing the freezer, and my girlfriend decided to look it up online to see what other places were pricing it at and also the reviews (she always remembers to look at reviews, when I usually don't unless I'm really swaying on my decision to purchase the item). LUCKILY she did. 

We ended up finding out that the brand was horrible, that reviews on google and different store websites that carried this item said that it leaked, that the wiring sucked, that it broke down after a couple months, and that it was loud. There was not one good review on this freezer we had looked at. So, we immediately said no way we were going to buy this freezer.

Now, the only other places in our area to buy a freezer besides the places mentioned above are Sears and the local appliances store. Yesterday, I decided to check out Sears online selection, and found a couple that meet our parameters for what we want out of a freezer. 

One by one, I looked them up; looked at reviews on the actual website, and also on google with various different outfits that had the same model. Out of three or four from Sears, there's only one that I liked enough to share with my girlfriend, two had horrible reviews, and the last one had a mix of good and bad. The one that I shared had one or two bad reviews out of a the 50 or so that I read. 

We can order it online, but we want to actually see the product in person to make sure it is what we really want before we buy it. So sometime in the next week we'll actually go into the store and see it, and who knows, actually buy it!  :) 

This instance, along with a couple others, have happened since I've moved in with my girlfriend, like I said before, she knows to look at the reviews, and it really has taught me a valuable lesson and has saved me some time so I don't end up sending stuff back. 

I do like to buy stuff used online from various sellers, I really only use Amazon for this kind of stuff though, and so I've gotten used to the format, but the same thing can be applied to E-bay even. When buying something from a seller, it's awesome if they have 4 out of 5 stars of 97% positive for the last 12 months, BUT the main thing you want to look at is, how many reviews have they had.

Here are some examples, taken from The Women of Duck Commander used books selection (which is what I recently bought for my girlfriend):

The one at the top, looks awesome, 98% from 32,000 ratings, but the middle one is 96% out of over 400,000 ratings, and finally, the last one is 98% out of 2,000 ratings. Obviously I would go with the middle one. And it you actually went to the link I provided, it would show the prices and quality of the book itself, which you definitely need to read and look into.

Each person is different with their quality of books. I don't mind it to be used, but I want there to be a front cover and no pages ripped. I don't mind if it's discolored or bent or something, but I want it to be usable, ya know? 

There are so many different tricks to be aware of, and I definitely know that these are just a couple that I've picked up on as I've been doing online shopping. If you have any further tips, or agree with my findings, please share in the comments. I'm always looking to learn some more and share the wisdom.

Being in a relationship with a couponer...

has made life so much easier!!

This last shopping two shopping trips would have cost us about $400, but we only spent $150!! Here's what we got:

I can't remember exactly what we got, but we got 4 liquid laundry soaps, 3 sets of conditioner/shampoo, 6 bottles of lotion, 2 body soaps, 8 quart zip lock bags, 4 things of napkins, 1 set of plates, gum, tic tags, 12 boxes of cereal, 16 cans of pringles, etc. All of these things are going to be used fast, or they'll keep until we need them.

My girlfriend knows what she wants, and only buys stuff that we can use, and if she knows it will expire before we buy it, then we don't buy it, but if it won't, like the laundry soap, we buy it.

The best deals are at Rite Aid and Walgreens, and although that usually means that we aren't going to get fresh food, but we can get stuff like this, which is where all of this stuff came from. The reason why the best deals come from here, to my understanding, is because these two places usually have awesome sales going on like buy one get one free or get the 2nd half off, then you add a manufacture coupon to it and the prices goes really down!! We also stop at Walmart and Safeway too, but this weekend's trip didn't include them.

It's absolutely wonderful, everything we shopped for yesterday we got 50-70% off for our entire purchase.

This is a huge majority of our stash right now, besides some that we left to be easier to get to:

We're working on filling that entire thing up! I can't wait!

I'm definitely grateful for the hard work my girlfriend puts into couponing so that we can save money and go on our summer trips that we have planned, or be able to spend the money on other food that we can't get a sale on, or even that nice big shelf in the picture above! We finally had to buy that this weekend because the closet and pantry were just overloaded with stuff!

Since I've graduated, I've realized a lot.

I was fortunate enough to have a job set up after I got my BA degree, however, that job is working for my parents. Now, this sounds degrading and like I just couldn't find a job, that isn't true. I didn't look for other jobs because I wanted to work for my parents, they own a small business, and I knew that I needed to get more work experience before heading off into the real world. 

I still needed to learn from them, and they were willing to teach me stuff and didn't worry about me leaving them or screwing me over. I already knew the basics because I've worked here over the summer for the past couple years, but now I get to learn the good stuff.

My official title is secretary, and that's what I want to do at other places of business, maybe eventually go up to manager once I get more experience, but I wanted to get more information and know-how into the brain before I truly "left the nest." They are teaching me everything from taxes to payroll to customer relations to how to actually make a business survive, especially with one like theirs that is seasonal.

Now, since I was lucky enough to get a job, I get to focus on the bills that I get to start paying back. This includes a car, and credit cards, as well as new expenses like house bills, which I basically had when I was renting an apartment), and now dental and medical bills.

I can't believe how excited I am to finally have dental insurance. My parents never had it so they paid cash for what I needed as a kid, and I can't do that, so I finally broke down to pay the monthly amount that helps and then I'm doing a payment plan through my dentist, so I can get the couple fillings I need, since I haven't been to a dentist since I took off my braces. 

Also, since that I'm living with my girlfriend, I've been helping out with the house bills. This means I'm paying garbage for the first time, which seemed expensive just because they do it for two or three months at a time, and the same goes for utilities, but I'm so used to the monthly bill that it shocked me before I realized that I didn't have to pay that every month! haha. It's going to take a while to adjust!

Of course, learning to save money is just as hard as it sounds, not spending money but keeping it, which sucks when you've finally started to make it! I've been waiting to be able to have a life and do stuff when I was done with college, but if you are going to get anywhere, you need to start saving money!! I've dedicated a whole other blog post to this topic… and the link is… here!

Another learning experience that I'm having is that I have to gain a new social group, which is hard because I don't want to get new friends, I loved the ones that I had at school and do keep in touch with, but I'm in this way of thinking right now that I hate technology and don't want to text people when I could spend time with the people right in front of me. This would be all fine and dandy except that the only people I interact with are my parents and the 2 guys that work there, whom are over the age of 40, not exactly the right people I want to interact with after work. Then the others are my girlfriend's friends. I'm all for having common friends with her, but I'd like someone that was just mine so that I could talk to them if I needed advise, about my girlfriend, or other stuff, and feel like it won't get back to my girlfriend, not that that's bad, but it does suck sometimes. 

So, I'm trying to branch out more and gain new friendships, but it's hard when you work five or six days a week and then go home to your girlfriend and son, and spend the evening with them because that's where you want to be anyways and spend at least one of your days off with the girlfriend so you can get some quality time in (the kid goes to his dad's on the weekends, which works awesome for us). It's a work in progress, and will probably be much better when I get another job, but for the time being, it's on the back burner trying to sort itself out. 

I'm sure there's more I can add, but this is the general idea of what I'm personally going through since graduating.

Learning to save money

This is by far the hardest thing I've done since being an "adult." When I have spare money that doesn't go to bills, I want to spend it, but I can't, because you need to have an emergency fund, or what I like to call mine is a rainy day fund (RDF), for if and when something happens, you're prepared.

I remember watching Friends, and when Monica lost her job, her dad was telling her it would be ok because she did what he told her to and put 10% of each pay check into her savings for if this ever happened. She didn't, and was completely screwed. Now, for some unknown reason, that 10% rule has stuck with me, so each pay check I put 10% of it into my savings account, along with $50 every two weeks that automatically transfers from checking to savings (so I don't have to pay a fee to having a checking account, which is stupid), but I've been following that pretty well.

Now, when I first started a savings plan, I went too overboard, I was saving for RDF, then trips, rent (since I was starting to pay it for the next month, I wanted to start saving up for it a bit early in case I needed extra), and my 52 Week Challenge (52W) that I'm doing. Now this was changing every week, but basically was almost $200 each week taken out of my paycheck, which is about half of what I make every week.

This was spreading myself too thin, and was killing me within a month. I followed through with this for 5 weeks, and it did save me when I needed extra cash, but that was because I was taking so much out of my paycheck. I've stopped doing that, the rent money I saved up for trips went towards my credit cards because I wanted to pay them off before I even tried to save up for the trips I'm doing this summer, and then my rent money went to rent in a way, it went towards the house bills I've talked about in my other posts: utilities, garbage, electric, etc. I am still saving my RDF and for the 52W, but It's a lot easier to handle taking out $50-75 every week instead of $200.

However, as I've been looking at this awesome blog about living the minimalist lifestyle, I've learned that you should have 3 months of bills saved up in case something happens like an accident or losing your job, then you have that cushion to fall back on. Well, by doing this 10% thing, it's going to take me a while to get to that 3-month mark haha! So, I may have to reevaluate my strategy a little bit, but like I said, I'm learning!